Chorus:
grandma got runover by a reindeer
walking home from our house christmas eve
you can say theres no such thig as santa
but as for me and grandpa we believe
She'd been drinking too much eggnog
and we begged her not to go
but she forgot her medication
and she staggered out the door into the snow
when we found her christmas morning
at the scene of the attack
there were hoofprints on her forehead
and incriminating claus marks on her back
Chorus
Now we're all so proud of grandpa
he's been taking this so well
see him in there watching footbal
drinking beer and playing cards with cousin mel
it's not christmas without grandma
all the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder
should we open up her gifts or send them back.
Chorus
Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched the hair on grandma's wig
i've warned all my friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.