Praying for myself.
these thoughts i try to hide.
i have faith in me and hope this will survive.
but it's tearing me apart.
i can't hear the words by which i guide.
so i must ask again who will carry me.
I will not deny that nothing can defend
from the helplessness that's cutting deep inside,
and i cannot prevent the thought that nothing's real.
seems i've waited years for this day to end.
The strength i need to feel, the pride inside of me,
are not there behind the face staring back at me.
the anger and the pain of knowing where i am.
i have come so far and i cannot return.
Nothing i can do that i have not done.
no words i can say. no truth left that i can see.
so must i let this end so everything falls apart.
before i live the life as i have always done.
Tell me what to do so i do nothing wrong.
something i can hope for. something real that i can see.
so nothing falls apart. so that it does not end.
i cannot return. i can't start again.