(indescipherable foreign accent)
is everybody ready?
hans? johann? heidi?
let's go, everybody.

i'm sorry i'm a girl,
and not a man.
then i could cum all the time,
in the palm of my precious little hand.
Get drunk in the bars,
and act like a klutz.
it really wouldn't matter.
i'd be too stupid to be nuts.
(chorus)
i wanna be a man
so i can stink.
a big, tough guy.
i'm sick of pink.
And if i was a man,
i could tell lots of lies
about all the girls i've fucked.
just like all of you guys.
I'd be self-sufficent.
and i wouldn't need another.
but if i got a little boo-boo.
i'd go running back to my mother.
(chorus)
And if i was a man,
i'd always be hot.
wouldn't matter what i fucked,
just as long as it's got a twat.
I'd just rip off her pants,
and fuck her, 1, 2, 3.
how did this stinking cunt,
have the luck to find me.
(ooo!)
(chorus)
And if i was a man,
i could piss anywhere.
piss on your wrist, you sonofabitch.
when you're a man, you don't care.
I could fuck any time,
and be hard as a rock.
spend my life worrying about
the size of my teeny little cock.
(chorus)
And if i was a man,
all you sluts would give me head.
(i'd) get my rocks off,
then i'd kick you out of bed.
Be tackless and boring,
with nauseating breath.
i'd be a worthless piece of shit
from birth until death.
(everybody!)
(chorus)
(everybody sing)
(chorus repeated in background)