If jesus was alive today
he'd have to get hisself a job
he'd have the history of the world
tattooed across is ass -- in 47 languages
he'd have the names of all his relatives
etched on his brain
and everything they left behind
but he'd never get around to callin' them
to let 'em know that he was alright
but he'd be alright

he'd be born in suburbia on christmas day
sympathetic to the castaways on gilligan's isle
marooned on an island in a sea of despair
surrounded by water
in the ocean of life

another lost soul winds up in prison
sittin' alone throwin' rocks at the sky
slowly ascending, climaxing, descending
catch you off guard
put out your eyes

jesus preachers, preaching jesus
jesus using his own name in vain
six feet deep, but he can't get to sleep
cannot hold a job
to save his life