You know, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
they don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
so tell you other kids all across the land
there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand
I remember one year, my mom took me school shoppin'
it was me, my brother, my mom, oh my pop,
and my little sister all hopped in the car
we headed downtown to the gallery mall
My mom started buggin' with the clothes she chose
i didn't say nothin' at first, i just turned up my nose
she said, "what's wrong, the shirt costs twenty dollars."
i said, "mom, this shirt is plaid, with a butterfly collar.
The next half hour was the same old thing
my mother buyin' me clothes from 1963
and then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
i asked her for adidas, and she bought me zips!
I said, "mom, what are you doin'? you'll ruin my rep."
she said, "you're only 16, you don't have a rep yet."
i said, "mom, let's put these clothes back, please."
she said, "no. you go to school to learn, not for a fashion show."
I said, "this isn't shinin' armor, c'mon mom, i'm not bousers.
mom, please put back the bell bottom, brady bunch trousers.
but if you don't want to i can live with that, but,
you've gotta put back the double-knit, reversable slacks"
She wasn't with it, everything stayed the same
inevitably, the first day of school came
i thought i could get over, i tried to play sick
but my mom said, "no, no way, uh-uh. forget it."
There was nothin' i could do. i tried to relax
i got dressed up in those ancient artifax
and when i walked in to school, it was just as i thought
the kids were crackin' up, laughin' at the clothes mom bought
And those who weren't laughin' still had a ball
'cuz they were pointing and whistling as i walked down the hall
i got home and told my mom how my day went
she said, "if they were laughin' you don't need 'em, cuz they're not good
friends."
For the next six hours i tried to explain to my mom
that i was gonna have to go to just about 200 more times
they didn't speak, i said, i want to plead my case
so tell you other kids all across the land
there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand
Ok. here's the situation. my parents went away on a week's vacation
and, they left the keys to the brand new porsche
do they mind? mmm, well, of course not!
i'll just take it for a little spin, and maybe show it off to a couple of
friends
i'll just cruise it 'round the neighborhood
well, maybe i shouldn't. yeah! of course i should!
Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
i pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
and that's when i saw this beautiful girly-girl walkin'
i picked up my car phone to perpatrate like i was talkin'
You shoulda seen this girls bodily demensions
i honked my horn, just to get her attention
she said, "was that for me?" i said, "yeah." she said, "why?"
i said, "come on and take a ride with a hell of a guy."
She said, "how do i know you're not sick.
you could be some deranged lunatic."
i said, "come on, toots. my name is the prince.
besides, would a lunatic have a porsche like this?"
She agreed, and we were on our way
she was lookin' very good, so i was i, i must say, word!
we hit mcdonalds, pulled up to the driveway
we ordered two big macs, and two large fries and cokes
She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
she said, "drive fast, speed turns me on."
she put her hand on my knee, i put my foot on the gas
we almost got whiplash, we took off so fast
The sun roof was open, the music was high
and this girl's hand was thouroughly moving up my thigh
she had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
i guess that's why i didn't notice that police car
We're doin' ninety in my mom's new porsche
and to make this long story short, short
when the cop pulled me over, i was scared as hell
i said, "i don't have a license, but i drive very well, officer!"
I almost had a heart-attack that day
come to find out the girl was a 12 year old runaway!
i was arrested, the car was impounded
there was no way for me to avoid being grounded
My parents had to come off from vacation and get me
i'd rather be in jail, than to have my father hit me
my parents walked in and i got my grip
i said, "uh...mom, dad...how was your trip?!"
They didn't speak, i said, "i wanna play my case."
but my father just shoved me in the car by my face
that was a hard ride home, i don't know how i survived it
they took turns..one would beat me while the other was drivin'!
I can't believe it! i just made a mistake
well, parents are the same, no matter time nor place
so tell you other kids all across the land
take it from me, parents just don't understand