My Dad's Gone Crazy

Eminem

[Intro]
Hello boys and girls, 
today we are gunna talk about father and daughter relationships. 
Do you have a daddy? 
I'll bet you do, whos your daddy.

Hailie: Daddy what are you doing?

Eminem and Hailie: Okay then! Everybody listen up!

Eminem: I'm goin' to hell! Who's comin' with me???!?

Hailie: Somebody please help him! I think my dad's gone crazy...

Verse 1
There's no mountain I can't climb, 
there's no tower too high, 
no plane that I can't learn how to fly
what do I gotta do to get through to you, 
to show you there ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to?
Fuckin' brains, brawn and brass balls, 
I cut'em off, and got'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall
with my framed autographed sunglasses with Elton John's name on my drag wall, 
I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off
All this time me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off (Suck it, Marshall). 
So tell Laura and her husband to back off
before I push this muthafuckin' button and blast off
and launch one at these Russians and that's all
blow every fuckin' thing except Afghanistan on the map off. 
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
Hailie, tell 'em baby,( My Dad's Lost It!!) 

Chorus
There's really nothin' else to say, I... I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy 
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em baby
I think my dad's gone crazy 
There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy 

Verse 2
It's like my mother always told me, 
rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine and
goddammit you little muthafucker 
if you ain't got nuthin' nice to say then don't say nuthin'
…..uh, fuck that shit bitch eat a muthafuckin' dick, 
chew on a prick and lick
a million muthafuckin' cocks per second, 
I'd rather put out a muthafuckin' gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy whipped bitch, eat pussy, 
and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ring in my nose 
then quit bringin' my flows
quit givin' me my ammo. 
Can't you see why I'm so mean? 
If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go, eenee, meenee, meini, mo, 
catch a homo by his toe, 
man I don't know no more
am I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more?
Dad... 

Chorus

Verse 3
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise at the same time, 
can make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
see what you're seein' is a genius at work, 
which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first
cus when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheek, 
I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, 
get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once 
and die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
and walk around the rest of my life spit on, 
and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung
like R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on. 
More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl
inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade, 
standin' on Ronnie's grave, screamin' at the sky, 
till clouds gather, it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
and that's pretty much the gist of it, 
the parents are pissed but the kids love it. 
9 millimeter heater stashed in 2 seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither... 

Chorus

Hailie:
Crazy
Ha Ha Ha
You're Funny Daddy!