Draft dodger ragphil ochswritten by phil ochsoh, i'm just a typical american boy from a typical american towni believe in god and senator dodd and a-keepin' old castro downand when it came my time to serve i knew "better dead than red"but when i got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what i said: chorus sarge, i'm only eighteen, i got a ruptured spleen and i always carry a purse i got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt besides, i ain't no fool, i'm a-goin' to school and i'm working in a dee-fense planti've got a dislocated disc and a wracked up backi'm allergic to flowers and bugsand when the bombshell hits, i get epileptic fitsand i'm addicted to a thousand drugsi got the weakness woes, i can't touch my toesi can hardly reach my kneesand if the enemy came close to mei'd probably start to sneeze i'm only eighteen, i got a ruptured spleen and i always carry a purse i got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt besides, i ain't no fool, i'm a-goin' to school and i'm working in a dee-fense plantooh, i hate chou en lai, and i hope he dies,onething you gotta seethat someone's gotta go over thereand that someone isn't meso i wish you well, sarge, give 'em hell!kill me a thousand or soand if you ever get a war without blood and gorei'll be the first to go yes, i'm only eighteen, i got a ruptured spleen and i always carry a purse i got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt besides, i ain't no fool, i'm a-goin' to school and i'm working in a dee-fense plant