-riff-
dear kindly seargant krupke
ya gotta understand
it's just our bringin' up-ke
that gets us outta hand
our mothers all're junkies
our fathers all're drunks
golly moses, naturally we're punks
-all-
gee, officer krupke
we're very upset
we never had the love that every child oughta get
we ain't no delinquents
we're misunderstood
deep down inside us there is good
-riff-
there is good!
-all-
there is good
there is good
there is untapped good
like inside the worst of us is good
-"krupke"-
that's a touchin', good story!
-riff-
lemme tell it to the world!
-"krupke"-
just tell it to da judge!
-riff-
dear kindly judge your honor,
my parents treat me rough
with all the marijuana,
they won't give me a puff!
they didn't wanna have me,
but somehow i was had
leapin' lizards, that's why i'm so bad!
-judge-
right! officer krupke, you're really a square!
this boy don't need a judge
he needs an analyst scare!
it's just his neurosis
that oughta be curbed
he's psychologically disturbed!
-riff-
i'm disturbed!
-all-
we're disturbed
we're disturbed
we're the most disturbed
like we're psychologically disturbed!
-judge-
hear ye, hear ye
in the opinion of this court,
this child is depraved
on account he ain't had a normal home.
-riff-
hey, i'm depraved on account i'm deprived!
-judge-
*hits riff*
so take him to a head shrinker
you!
-action-
who, me?
-riff-
my daddy beats my mommy
my mommy clobbers me
my grandpa is a commie
my grandma pushes tea
my sister wears a mustache
my brother wears a dress
goodness gracious, that's why i'm a mess!
-head shrinker (action)-
yes officer krupke
he shouldn't be here
this boy don't need a couch
he needs a useful career!
society played him a terrible trick
and socialogically, he's sick!
-riff-
i am sick!
-all-
we are sick
we are sick
we are sick, sick, sick
like we're socialogically sick!
-head shrinker (action)-
in my opinion this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all.
juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease
-riff-
hey! i got a social disease!
-head shrinker (action)-
*hits riff*
so take him to a social worker-that way!
-riff-
dear kindly social worker
they tell me, "get a job"
like be a soda jerker,
which means i'd be a slob!
it's not i'm anti-social
i'm only anti-work
glory osky, that's why i'm a jerk!
-social worker-
eek!
officer krupke, you've done it again!
this boy don't need a job
he needs a year in the pen!
it ain't just a question of misunderstood
deep down inside him
he's no good!
-riff-
i'm no good!
-all-
we're no good
we're no good
we're no earthly good
like the best of us is no damn good!
The trouble is he's lazy!
The trouble is he drinks!
The trouble is he's crazy!
The trouble is he stinks!
The trouble is he's growing!
The trouble is he's grown!
-all-
krupke, we've got troubles of our own!
officer krupke, we're down on our knees
-riff-
'cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!
-all-
gee, officer krupke
what are we to do?
gee, officer krupke,
krup you!