I wake up every morning, six o'clock, i`m right on time
i eat a low fat breakfast, i tie a perfect tie
i kiss the wife, i hug the kids, i pat the dogs and cats
i never lose anything, my car keys or my hat
'cause i`m the man of the year
i`m the man of the year
I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school
my urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel
'cause i`m the man of the year
i`m the man of the year
'cause i`m the man of the year
i`m never, ever jealous
never, ever cruel
i`m a graduate of harvard
where i never broke the rules
The queen made me a knight
the pope made me a saint
the president plays golf with me
i make madonna faint
So why am i so lonely
depressed and in despair
if i pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care
It was the greatest funeral, i laid in perfect state
and later i will meet the lord, i bet he just can`t wait
To meet the man of the year
i`m the man of the year
stand in line to meet the man
i`m the man, i`m the man, i`m the man