Mystery achievement
don't breathe down my neck no
i got no trophies on display
i sign them away
i mean what the heck
all of your promises
don't fill me with pride no
i just wanna get out on the floor
and do the cuban slide, slide, slide, slide

(chorus)

but every day, every nighttime i find
mystery achievement
you're on my mind
and every day, every nighttime i feel
mystery achievement you're so unreal

mystery achievement
where's my sandy beach? yeah
i had my dreams like everybody else
but they're out of reach
i said right out of reach
i could ignore you
your demands are unending
i got no tears on my ice cream but you know me
i love pretending

(chorus)