The scotsmanbryon boyers(dr. demento's 20th anniversery tape)well a scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fairand one could tell by how he walked that he drank more than his sharehe fumbled around until he could no longer keep his feetthen he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the streetring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-ohhe stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the streetabout that time two young and lovely girls just happened byand one says to the other with a twinkle in her eyesee yon sleeping scotsman so strong and handsome builti wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kiltring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-ohi wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kiltshe crept up on that sleeping scotsman as quiet as could beand lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could seeand there behold unto their view beneath his scotish skirtwas nothing more than god had graced him with upon his birthring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-ohwas nothing more than god had graced him with upon his birththey marveled for a moment than one said we must be gonelet's leave a present for our friend before we move alongas a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bowaround the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and showring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oharound the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and shownow the scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the treesbehind the bush he lifts his kilt and gasps at what he seesand in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyesoch lad i don't know where you been but i see you won first prizering-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-ohoch lad i don't know where you been but i see you won first prize!tmazanec1@juno.com or tom mazanec to humans