[richie:] "so ya doin' good?"
[samantha:] "ya, i'm fine, how 'bout you?"
[richie:] "how good could i be? i haven't seen you in three hours."
[samantha:] "ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dad's down the hall,
and he doesn't want me on the phone.
so if i hang up on you, it's just because he's coming."
[richie:] "ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi..."
[she hangs up phone]

[phone rings]
[richie:] "hello?"
[samantha:] "sorry, i thought he was coming."
[richie:] "that's ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet
[samantha:] "umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights."
[richie:] "well that's ok, i'll come by and get you. lets say around..."
[she hangs up phone]
[richie:] "come on.."

[phone rings]
[richie:] "hey."
[samantha:] "sorry. i guess he was just going to the bathroom."
[richie:] "that's ok. well look, uh.. what was i saying?
oh yeah, should i pick you up at like seven-thirty
or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.."
[she hangs up the phone again]
[richie:] "give me a break..."

[phone rings]
[richie:] "hello."
[samantha:] "sorry. it was just my dog."
[richie:] "hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? why can't we talk?"
[samantha:] "he just thinks i'm on the phone too much.
oh my god, uh, i gotta go."
[richie:] "don't hang up!"
[samantha:] "richie, i can't talk!"
[richie:] "no, i'm sick of this! put your dad on the phone! i wanna talk to him."
[samantha:] "it's not my dad."
[richie:] "what? well, who's there? why can't you talk?"
[samantha:] "uh, just look richie, someone is here."
[richie:] "who's there? is it a guy!?"
[samantha:] "richie!"
[richie:] "i knew it! i'll kill him! put him on the phone!"
[samantha:] "oh.. it's just.. hold on."

[hands phone to guy]
[richie:] "hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samantha's my girl!
you'd better stay away from her or i'll make you wish you were never born!"
[buffoon:] "fuckin' shit!"
[richie:] "yeah, fuckin' shit is right buddy!
don't think i'm kidding around, man! i'm crazy! i'll smash your head in! i swear to god!"
[buffoon:] "one time i saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button."
[richie:] "yeah, well that's too bad! but i'm still gonna come over there and beat your face in!"
[richie slams down phone]

[samantha: "what happened? was he mad?"
[buffoon: "my neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!"
[samantha: "oh buffoon, you're the coolest." [whispering] "i love you..."