"and now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning
of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"

[baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]
[cow:] moo

"and now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time,
and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"

[plane sounds]
[m1:] alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down,
quit being a pansy and do it
[cow:] moo
[ripcord sounds]
[cow:] moo,mrr
[parachute opens]
[cow:] moow
[thud]

"and now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru
and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"

[cow opening paper bag]
[cow:] moo,moo
[car screeches, and turns back around]
[cow:] mrr

"and now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break
and then realises he can't swim"

[cow walking towards pool, big splash]
[cow:] moo
[crowd cheering]
[cow:] mrr,mrr
[underwater moo]

"and now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club,
when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"

[f1:] ohh baby you like it when i dance with you
[cow:] moo
[f1:] uh uh uh, you can't touch that
[cow:] moo
[bouncer:] keep your hands off the girl
[cow:] moo
[bouncer:] hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leave
[cow:] moo
[m2:] hey watch it cow

"and now a cow playing tennis against farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle
when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"

[tennis ball being hit]
[farmer:] that was out
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] don't tell me it wasn't cause i saw it and that was out
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] by at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's out
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was out
[cow:] mrr
[farmer:] you cannot see from that angle
[cow:] moo

"and now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is
from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"

[phone rings, cow picks it up]
[farmer:] hello may i speak to the cow
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] hi, i'm a famous actor
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] oh, thank you very much,
i was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] why don't i make reservations?
[cow:] moo
[farmer:] and why don't i tell you my real name?
farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle
[cow:] mrr
[farmer:] take that fatty
[cow:] mrr
[slams down phone]

"and now a cow gets his revenge on farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle"

[car sounds]
[farmer:] pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, i am warning you for the last time.
[car hits farmer]
[farmer:] oooh
[cow:] mooooooooooooo