Well i'm a sucker for fine cuban cigars
the problem is i can't afford 'em
but last year i went and got myself a whole box
and just to be safe i insured 'em
Chorus
i took out a policy against fire and theft
and then i hurried home
with a thirty-cent lighter i sat on my back steps
and i smoked 'em one by one
Two weeks later i went to see that insurance man
and i handed in my claim
with a straight face i told him that through a series of small fires
they'd all gone up in flames
2nd chorus
they reviewed my case and they had no choice
but to pay me for what i'd done
and i took that check and bought a whole new box
and i smoked 'em one by one
Two weeks later this detective shows up
tells me that company's pressin' charges
one speedy trial later they locked me up
on twenty-four separate counts of arson
3rd chorus
and now i sit and i stare at a blank brick wall
lookin' back on what i've done
to pass the time i've got some ten-cent cigars
and i smoke 'em one by one
yeah, i smoke 'em one by one