My father was a lawyer, mom's at university
my brother and my sister, they both have their ph.d.
my grampa was a pilot shooting nazis from t he sky
but i am the most famous, i'm a tv weather guy
He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
h e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky
but he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy
They said that i'm not qualified to be on the tv
don't know celsius from fahrenheit so i just say degrees
i just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies
and end up being right more than the guy on channel five
He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
he always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky
but he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy
On saturdays i must be out of bed by five a.m.
put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens
greeting all the viewers with a "hi-hi-hip-hello!"
'cause it's the day i have to host a kiddie cartoon show
He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock
he raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog
did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry
he's a lousy clown but a good tv weather guy
They said that i'm not cute enough to be an anchorman
not tough enough for sports and for the arts i was too bland
but i know that some day i will reach my tv goal
when i guest star on baywatch or 90210
'til then i'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke
he always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
he wonders why big storms are always named for other guys
but he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy
he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy!