I want to know how it'll end. i want to be sure of what it'll cost. i want to strangle the stars for all they promised me. i want you to call me on your drug phone. i want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later. i want to be there when you learn the cost of desire. i want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win. i want the name of the ruiner. i want matches in case i have to suddenly burn. i want you to know that being kind is overrated. i want to write my secret across your sky. i want to watch you lose control. i want to watch you lose. i want to know exactly what it's going to take. i want to see you insert yourself into glory. i want your touches to scar me so i'll know where you've been. i want you to watch when i go down in flames. i want a list of atrocities done in your name. i want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back. i want to remember when my nightmares were clearer. i want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open. i want to taste my own kind. i want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it's different on this side. i want you to come on strong. i want to leave you out in the cold. i want the exact same thing but different. i want some soft drugs.. some soft, soft drugs. i want to throw you. i want you to know i know. i want to know if you read me. i want to swing with my eyes shut and see what i hit. i want to know just how much you hate me so i can predict what you'll do. i want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted. i want a controlling interest. i want to be somewhere beautiful when i die. i want to be your secret hater. i want to stop destroying you but i can't. and i want and i want and i want and i will always be hungry. and i want and i want and i want.