I was surprised, i was happy for a day in 1975
I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995
My brother had confessed that he was gay
It took the heat off me for a while
He stood up with a sailor friend
Made it known upon my sisters wedding day

I got married in a rush to save a kid from being deported
Now she's in love
I was so touched, i was moved to kick the crutches
From my crippled friend
She was not impressed that i cured her on the sabbath
So i went to confess
When she saw the funny side, we introduced my child bride
To whisky and gin

The priest in the booth had a photographic memory
For all he had heard
He took all of my sins and he wrote a pocket novel called
"the state i am in"
So i gave myself to god
There was a pregnant pause before he said ok
Now i spend my day turning tables round in marks & spencer's
They don't seem to mind

I gave myself to sin
And i've been there and back again
I gave myself to providence
The state that i am in

Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me
I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the devil's work, it is the folly of a boys empty mind
Now i'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad
Lead me to a living end
I promised that i'd entertain my crippled friend
My crippled friend