A fine romance, with no kisses
a fine romance, my friend this is
we should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
but you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
a fine romance, you won't nestle
a fine romance, you won't wrestle
i might as well play bridge
with my old maid aunt
i haven't got a chance
this is a fine romance
A fine romance, my good fellow
you take romance, i'll take jello
you're calmer than the seals
in the arctic ocean
at least they flap their fins
to express emotion
a fine romance with no quarrels
with no insults and all morals
i've never mussed the crease
in your blue serge pants
i never get the chance
this is a fine romance