Mean mister mustard sleeps in the park
shaves in the dark trying to save paper
sleeps in a hole in the road
saving up to buy some clothes
keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
such a mean old man
such a mean old man
His sister pam works in a shop
she never stops, she's a go-getter
takes him out to look at the queen
only place that he's ever been
always shouts out something obscene
such a dirty old man
dirty old man