Hey, i'm feeling so dirty, you're looking so clean
all you can give is a spin in your washing machine
i fly off to rome to my prima bella
she leaves me in the rain with telescopic umbrella
ooh the pain -- modern love can be a strain
I trusted my venus was untouched in her shell
but the pearls in her oyster were as tacky as hell
for lady godiva i came incognito
but her driver had stolen her red hot magneto
ooh the pain -- modern love can be a strain
I don't know why they leave me in the lurch
to carry on the search
it's driving me up the wall
pity when i have so much passion
romance is out of fashion
can't handle modern love at all
So i worship diana by the light of the moon
when i pull out my pipe she screams out of tune
in paris my heart sinks when i see the mona lisa
she gives me the wink, then she shows me the freezer
ooh the pain
modern love can be a strain