Now i've got a cousin called kevin
he's sure to go to heaven
always spotless clean and neat
the smoothest you can get them
he's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
my ma said they cost a packet
she won't even let me explain
that me and kevin were just not the same
Oh my perfect cousin
what i like to do he doesn't
he's his family's private joy
his mothers little golden boy
He's gotta a grade in economics
maths - physics and bionics
he thinks that i'm a cabbage
cos i hate university challenge
even at the age of ten
smart boy kevin was a smart boy then
he always beat me at subbuteo
cos he flicked the kick
and i didn't know
Oh my perfect cousin ..
His mother bought him a synthesizer
got the human league into advise her
now he's making lots of noise
playing along with the art school boys
girls try to attract his attention
but what a shame it's in vain total rejection
he will never be left on the shelf
cos kevin he's in love with himself
Oh my perfect cousin