Well, i woke up in the morning
there's frogs inside my socks
your mama, she's a-hidin'
inside the icebox
your daddy walks in wearin'
a napoleon bonaparte mask
then you ask why i don't live here
honey, do you have to ask?
Well, i go to pet your monkey
i get a face full of claws
i ask who's in the fireplace
and you tell me santa claus
the milkman comes in
he's wearing a derby hat
then you ask why i don't live here
honey, how come you have to ask me that?
Well, i asked for something to eat
i'm hungry as a hog
so i get brown rice, seaweed
and a dirty hot dog
i've got a hole
where my stomach disappeared
then you ask why i don't live here
honey, i gotta think you're really weird.
Your grandpa's cane
it turns into a sword
your grandma prays to pictures
that are pasted on a board
everything inside my pockets
your uncle steals
then you ask why i don't live here
honey, i can't believe that you're for real.
Well, there's fist fights in the kitchen
they're enough to make me cry
the mailman comes in
even he's gotta take a side
even the butler
he's got something to prove
then you ask why i don't live here
honey, how come you don't move?