Now if i were a bricklayer,
i wouldn't build just anything,
if i was a ballplayer,
i wouldn't play no second string,
and if i were some jewelry, baby,
lord, i'd have to be a diamond ring,
if i was a secret, you know i would never be told,
if i was a jug of wine,
lord, my flavor would be plenty old,
i could be 'most anything,
but it got to be 24-karat solid gold

chorus:
i'm the penthouse pauper; i've got nothing to my name
i'm the penthouse pauper; i've got nothing to my name,
i can be 'most anything,
'cause when you got nothin' it's all the same
If i was a gambler, you know i'd never lose,
and if i were a guitar player,
i'd have to play the blues
If i was a hacksaw (hatchet), my blade would be razor sharp,
if i were a politician, i could prove money could talk,
you can find the tallest building,
lord, you know i'd have the house on top

chorus:
i'm the penthouse pauper; i've got nothing to my name
i'm the penthouse pauper; i've got nothing to my name,
i can be 'most anything,
'cause when you got nothin' it's all the same